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Tuesday, June 25, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Monday, June 24, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Sae, iz Horthie still razin howgs?
Yeah, butt hez not too gud atit! Whan anuthr one dies, he hasuh barbeque.
Yu know, Horthys slow....He wuz dropt on is haed.  Deer eat mostu his corn in th feel....
Mebee thas wye he awlwaez has venasun whin i go by thare.
Heel sheuwot cuuck n eat enuthang that movs, doun thair inat hollah!
Leest hes naut uh queah, lik is naybuh! Yu no, that ol boih wut razez pefaow! 
Thay strutin un poopin all ovr is plaice! Thas wun wird ol burd!

Saturday, June 22, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Wuz yua daddie whait?
Mohmuh said he wuz. Wuz yuahs culuhd?
Mohmuh said he wuz.
Wuz yuah mohmuh telin thuh truf?
Wuz yuahs?

 

hursday, June 20, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Whie u nevr did git hichd?
No wimen wud tak me, why th hael u think?
I think mebee yur uh lil bit queah, liyk my queenie cuzin Rae!
Dat's my cuzin too!
Rae's knot so queah queah. Hes manely jes cunfusd ubowt things. Liks wimens clos, things lik dat.
His mammie saed he been dropd raht on is haed!
Mah bruthu wuz drpot on is haed. Hebucum uh drug adick!

Thursday, June 20, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Hoo r thoes foks ova thaeh n dat bus?
Dey turisss!
Wuh dey lukinat heah?
YU! an ME!
Wai?
Kuz weah sow happie!
Yeah, Im gunna git lukey tunnite.

This is dedicated to Pharrell Williams.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Yu uh mulatto!
Soa ah yuw, yu rascl!
Weah yo peepl frum? 
Gabon, day say.
Whoa! Mine frum duh Congo!
Dey nslavd owuh asses!
Yu diservd it, bich!

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS ON THE FRONT PORCH AS USUAL

Horthy, did yur sistr git un uh boar shun yesturdee?
Howd duw no, u sunovuhbich!
Mai bruthr diddit far hir, u dum shit!
Theyn whyd u breng it up?
He saed she's uz beig uz uh hows!
Whi, u soaree sunovubich! Yur th sizova church, U megah!
Tak dat back or iol beet u tueuah bludy pulp!
U jes triy it!

Monday, June 17, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

Thay tawkin raparashuns fur nigras lack mee!
Whoos gun uh giv yu ainuthang? Gawd?
Naw... Foks say Im direk desindid frum yuh slavewomn o yu!
Yu jes trie un tak a raparoshun frum me fur yu, yu crazie nigr!
Wi not? Yur grandaddie enslaved my blak ass! 
Don yu membr Im yur secun cuzn frm unothr slavwumin?
Yur nawt gitin raprashoms frum me fur dat!
Yu jes trie me!

Monday, June 17, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS FATHERS' DAY

Whar yu goin, oawl draist up?
Church, whar yu thank?
Noat ever Sunde ow th yeer!
Daids th preachr....

Saturday, June 15, 2019

THE MENU THE MISSIPPIANS

Sitting on the porch, stew pot on the floor in front of them.

Wuzdat?
Possm steuw.
I thot u tol me itwuz sqirl!  Kudn yu getusa fat sqirl?
I traydedat fur sum wiskie!
Lees is not uh amohdilow. Am taard o amohdilow!
Am taard o sokin um ol day long!
See if yu kin git a skunk tmorowah.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

THE MISSIPPIANS

The shack. Two 400 pounders, settin on th porch.

Pass thu lil Debbies, honee.
Imnt finisd wifm yet.
Jes passum n sweep th flouwr.
Widonu swep th flor, un taak th garbaj owt too!
I alredie tuk it owt wonc tday.
Its mostly yur stuf!
Sow wat!

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

THE MISSISSIPPIANS SNL SKIT DIALOGUE IDEA

One week you could have two 400 pound negroes.

The next week, you could have two 400 pound white crackers!

Same vernacular, clothing, set, etc, same subject matter...

You could occassionally trade off, and do the negroes in whiteface, or the crackers in blackface.

The media has made so much of the race card with blackface, 
SNL needs to rub this issue way up everyone's ass.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

THE MISSISSIPPIANS SNL DIALOGUE SAME AS BERKELEY

"Tha Missippiyuns"

Old dilapidated wood farmhouse shack, tin roof, corn field, near Tupelo. Sitting on wide front porch, floor slats missing.
Both weigh 400 pounds:

Watchu redin?

U no ay cain reed uh wurd!

Sow, wha n heall aisit, th godspell, fuh Kryssake?

Aim naw reedn nutn. I nevr red nutn. Ai cun mak uh X.  U now dat. Dis heeas towlet paepuh! Han me mah lil debbees!

These two could be either whites mulattoes or negroes.
it scarcely matters, in Mississippi.  See: Faulkner

Boop: Just forward this....

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