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Sunday, July 12, 2020

ON LOCATION

Thursday, August 23, 2018


HOLLYWOOD CRAZY RICH AFRICANS DIALOGUE ON LOCATION AFRICA

So why did we have to come here to shoot?

We needed everybody, extras, everybody, negro.

The Chinese insisted on that.


Saturday, November 9, 2019

THE MENU AFRICA DIALOGUE

Ogunda: "But I cannot save you, make you my sex slave. I must kill you. We eat you."
Kate McKinnon: "Why?"
Ogunda: "My main wife...."
Kate McKinnon: "But I am gay!"
Ogunda: "She is too."
Kate McKinnon: "But I hate men."
Ogunda: "So does she! My women had to hold her down."

This post is dedicated to Pete Buttigieg.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

ACTOR DIALOGUE ON LOCATION ASSAM CONTINUED

Why Africa?
Missionary work on the side.
Why not here?
I don't know.
Oh.

or

Why Africa?
Missionary work on the side.
Why not here?
I can't type or write. Thumbs only.
Oh.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

BBC SOUTH AFRICA STORY WIDESPREAD CANNIBALISM

Guy shows up at a police station, saying he is tired of eating this meat, holding an arm.

Tell it to his butcher!

South Africa butcher customer dialogue:

"Rump roast?
Yes.
How is this?
There are no toes on a rump roast!"

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

AFRICA DEMOCRACY DIALOGUE

So, did he vote?
No. he had malaria, dysentery, parasites, hemorrhoids, and malnutrition.
So, what happened?
Coronavirus during the primary. He just went like that!

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

2050 GUERILLA WAR OF COLOR FOR SURVIVAL DIALOGUE (NOT YOUR WAR FOR WEALTH)

I shot a Paki the other night, thought he was an African Muslim. My bad. But, they are both Muslims.

I mistook a Thai for a Chinese Uighur. Realized it just in time!

How?

We have racial ethnic body heat identifiers (assroast physics spinoff technology). We would have mistakenly killed thousands without it!

Does it always work right?

No. Collateral damage.... Externalities.

Did you get any whites last night?

No, not that many left! They stand out. Easy targets. Ducks in a barrel! We kill em cause they're white, but also for the gold.

Do you use the heat identifier?

Yes, but don't need it! They're easier to ID than red haired Neanderthals were in prehistory.

Do you get many negroes?

No.  You have to go to Africa now to get them.  The Chinese captured that market. They cornered the market for negroes long ago.  They're farm raised by the Chinese like cattle.

This post is dedicated to  Gabor Steingart and Thomas Piketty.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

HAND HELD ZOMBIE STARVATION DIALOGUE EURASIA AFRICA

You're so emaciated!
I had to finish pay for the Apple!
You coulda bought China device!
Oh!

Sunday, October 21, 2018

POLL VIOLENCE HOLLYWOOD AFGHAN DIALOGUE

Did you hear we lost three extras?
At least it's not Africa. They eat them.
Which would you rather be, a guerilla or a voter?

Thursday, October 18, 2018

JOURNALIST DIALOGUE NORTH AFRICA MIDDLE EAST BALKANS OR INDIA

What happened to him?
He was Khashoggied!
Why? What did he do?

He criticized the government as usual, no reform plan, no revolution, nothing new. Usual dumb stuff, Western liberalism.

So, why was he Khashoggied?

They are suddenly clamping down now on journalists who are also fools!

How many of us is that?
Almost all of us!

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

HOLLYWOOD AFRICA CHINA PRODUCTION SET DIALOGUE

We lost her.
How?
Outrun.
Too bad.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

ACTOR DIALOGUE ON LOCATION ASSAM III THE CONVERGENCE MENU

They WhatsApp lynched another crew member, last night.
I know.
Why aren't you in Africa?
Cannibals hit where I was going.
The location or missionary post?
Both.
Must have been hungry.

Monday, June 11, 2018

ACTOR DIALOGUE ON LOCATION ASSAM INDIA

So, why are you here?
Same reason as you, asshole.
We lost two more just now.
They weren't that good anyway...
I'm leaving.
Where would you get work?
Africa!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

GLOBAL MEDIA REPORTER OR UN PEACEKEEPER DIALOGUE

"If they eat you, does the family get reimbursed?"
"No, only if you're beheaded."
"I hope they send me to Palestine rather than Africa!"
"Yuh, we lost two last year."

See Wikipedia: list of incidents of cannibalism

aturday, December 31, 2016

HOLLYWOOD PANTHER DIRECTOR DIALOGUE

Somewhere, Hollywood, Africa, Borneo, Calcutta, Shanghai:

"Did he out you too?!"
"Yuh."
"Serves you right, you bitch!"




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