Friday, June 11, 2010

Below is the first page of a short work of fiction. It is told by my fictional character, very loosely based on the millionaire character in Gilligan's Island, on the French scalawag Robert Macaire, of whose imaginary antics Honore Daumier did wonderful illustrations in the first half of the 19th Century, and on the real life career of my uncle, my mother's sister's husband, Richard J. Thomas, originally of Allentown PA, who was VP Personnel of GAC Corporation, before it became insolvent, back in the 70s. Footnotes, appear to have been successfully omitted, in case the offer offense to sensitive entities out there in the cyber world. It should be noted, however, that the footnotes are the only important thing about this piece. The rest is fluff, really. It started out as a reply to property rights pundits' rants re Kelo. What a fiasco for them, and all the rest, it all has been.

THURSTON HOWELL ALIAS ROBERT MACAIRE'S REFLECTIONS

I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m Thurston Howell, after all these years. We were finally rescued. Coast Guard.

It’s amazing the bionics money can buy.

My doctors don’t let me smoke these anymore. Too bad. By the way, there are a few other little things they try not to let me do, at my age, either……...

Some of you may remember me from Boca, after Kelo. That was before the mortgage bubble and global meltdown.

I made a lot of money before it popped. Left a little on the table too. Made still more, selling short, since then.

What else could I do? Kelo dashed plans for a berth for my yacht in New London!
Then I had a side deal to moor it next to a new coal dockyard in J’ville, not all that far from the Bahamas, as the crow flies. Not the most beautiful site, but the price was right. That got screwed up too. Jock talks about it later. I don’t hold a grudge. Got to give credit, big verdict. That’s my kind of ‘property rights’: big, big property rights.

So I figured, I’d hit up the folks at this little joint for an oversize berth. It’s anchored, now, the yacht of course, out here in SF Bay, right over there. We motored in.
Lovey, my wife, likes it here. Bionics helped her a lot too.
What are my credentials for talking economics, history, war, or trade? The best. My credentials are: I’m retired. I got a law degree, finally, grandfathered in, but truly, I hate lawyers, especially the ones in Miami, except the few we had, including me, in my old firm GAC down there, for ‘window dressing’.
These views are mine, Thurston Howell’s. I had my ‘egg head’ grandson go to the library and cook up some fancy citations for what I say here, just to give him something useful to do. He is way off base on some of this (sure I love baseball as much as the next guy), but it kept him out of trouble for a little while.